How to Deal When You’re Completely Overwhelmed

Ugh, overwhelm.

We’ve all been there: Too many thoughts, way too much to do, and a sense of time pressure that says if you don’t get it all done NOW, something bad will happen.  If you’re feeling totally overwhelmed, try these steps.

1. Calm your nervous system.

First, come back to your body. Take three slow, deep breaths. Drink some water.

2. Make a list.

Now, grab a pen and paper and write down EVERYTHING buzzing in your brain. The things you have to do, the worries, the questions — get it all down on paper. Keep writing until you get it all out. (You can also use the notes app in your phone, but I personally find writing on paper feels more cathartic.)

3. Ask: What’s within my control?

Next, go through your list and circle anything that is within your control. These are the things you can actually do something about, like “wash the dishes” or “respond to that email.”

4. Notice: What’s NOT within my control?

These items may require some emotional processing or letting go – or perhaps a perspective shift. For now, just let those items be. Sometimes, just realizing something is not in our control can provide a sense of relief. 

5. Prioritize.

What is most important? What is most urgent? What do you really need to attend to today, and what can wait? What are the things that only you can take care of?

6. Delegate.

If there are things on your list that are not solely your responsibility, can you delegate? If you’re someone who tends to take on more than you need to, challenge yourself to ask someone else to help you.

7. What about collective issues?

If you’re overwhelmed because of a collective global issue, this isn’t something you can change single-handedly, and it’s not solely your responsibility to solve. At the same time, there may be actions you can take to move the needle on the issue. If you like, you can get involved with activism to support the causes you’re concerned about. For now, just make a note of these things. When you’re ready, you can come back to your list and determine what steps you’d like to take.

6. Look for decisions.

Read over your list and ask yourself: Is there a decision that needs to be made? Often, we’re overwhelmed because we’re putting off some decision, or several, and our energy is bound up in trying to sort through it. You may just feel a sense of ambivalence or confusion. In these cases, making a decision can help alleviate overwhelm and instill a sense of clarity and calm. If you need help making decisions, you can read more about that here.  

7. Take one small step.

If there’s something you’ve identified on your list that’s quick, manageable, and easy to do, go ahead and do that one thing.  When we’re overwhelmed, it can feel good to complete something, even if it’s a relatively small thing.

8. Affirm yourself and take a break.

Good job! Hopefully, going through this process and taking one small action has provided some relief and clarity. Now is a good time to come back to your body again. Take a walk around the block, change up your scenery, play some music you love, and feel free to take your mind off your list, knowing it’s all there on paper. You’ll get to the things you need to.

9. Remember: You are more than your to-do list.

Life can be complex and demand a lot, especially if you have a hectic job, caregiving responsibilities, or both. It’s easy to get swamped. We can start to feel as though we just need to get done with all of the things. But remember: You’re a human being, not a machine. You’re meant to be. The quality of our being — how we show up, the way we do what we do — is more important than how much we get done. You’re already doing a great job, just by being you.

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